Do you dream of spreading the Truthiness of the Truly True Church to all the apostates of the world? Do you wish that conversion rates could be increased by conducting them at swordpoint?
YOU MAY HAVE A VOCATION TO THE Holy Knights of the Truly True Church!!
We are a martial Order of Knight-Monks, serving the Truly True Church, under the spiritual patronage of the Society of St. Leo I.
By joining our Order, you will be trained in the ancient ways of armed conflict, including sword-fighting, crossbow usage, and plundering. You will also receive a bang-up theological education from the priests of the SSLI.
Don't delay--the Modernist heresy is growing by the minute!
UPDATE: The only physical requirement for postulants of the HKTTC is the ability to swing a sword or battle-ax. The ability to drink large quantities of ale is a positive but not required.
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5 comments:
What about physical requirements? I've got a bad knee and I lost my hearing in one ear. Also, I don't like to run too much. I get tired.
Am I still HKTTC material?
Rob,
Who DOESN'T have a bad knee or a blown eardrum after a few full-scale battles?
If ye can swing a battle ax, or thrust with a sword, ye meet our physical requirements. It's actually good that ye don't like running; we'll set ye up on one end of the battlefield and then we'll flush the heretics toward ye!
Do you want me to send ye our vocations brochure?
What are the intellectual requirements? Is stupidity better than intelligence? Is insanity a requirement or just a passign fad?
From Somewhere Not in Knoxville,
Hidden One.
No ninjas?!
Hidden one,
I have spoke to Fr. Chadwick about yer question, and he said that as long as a postulant can memorize the Truthiness Catechism, he is 'intellectual enough.'
Joan,
If someone wishes to found a Truly Traditional Order of ninjas, then that is their calling. Our Order's particular charism is to be knight-monks who enact bloody vengenance on heretics.
Cordially,
Sir. Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC
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