I would like to take a little bit of time to introduce our newest (and only) novice, Brother Lefebvre Fellay Denzinger. Brother Denzinger was known as Alejandro Edmundo Guatarahas before he joined the Order, and was born in the tiny farming village of Poorashell, Mexico. He accompanied his father and mother to the U.S. in their lucrative career of 'migrant worker-ing', until a horrible turnip farming accident took both their lives. Alejandro, penniless and alone, took to criminal exploits in order to survive. He proved so successful at this line of work that he eventually founded the Hays, KS branch of the MS-13 street gang, where he went by the name 'El Gato de Muerta' (you can see he even had cat ears tattooed on his forehead!) Alejandro met me during the course of his criminal pursuits and became so enamored of the Truly True Church and the blessed mission of the Holy Knights of the Truly True Church that he signed up immediately and took a religious name. He is currently serving as my personal squire and learning the basics of armed apostate combat.
Brother is a new convert to the Truly True Church, and like most converts his fervor is running high. Every day he says things like 'I wish I could slaughter a million heretics and present their heads to Fr. Chadwick as a symbol of my love for the SSLI.' What commendable brutality and piety! Brother will be eligible for temporary vows to the HKTTC once he has slaughtered his first heretic.
Do you think that you or your son could have a calling to join our most Holy Order? Please think about it and contact the Truthy priests of the SSLI for spiritual direction and opportunities for penance and mortification.
Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC
Vocations Director
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