Thursday, July 5, 2007

A new novice!

More good news, Truly Traditional Catholics! Whilst I was bilocating to the SPV2 picnic (a nice little saintly trick I've been blessed with) Brother Denzinger was rounding up a new novice to our Order! Allow me to introduce Dwight "Big John" Suspenderandbelt.

Big John is a long-haul trucker who has spent the last ten years hauling medical waste from Los Angeles to Montana. Brother Denzinger evangelized him by striking up a conversation while they were both using the truckstop urinal--let this be a reminder to be creative in your outreach efforts! Obviously, Big John saw the Truthiness of the Truly True Church and converted instantly.

Brother Denzinger said he has never seen anything like it, Big John just burst out in Latin praising God. Of course, this worried me at first, because I feared Big John was one of those semi-lunatic 'Charismatic' heretics that I've read about in Truly True Church Today magazine. But I later found out that Big John had once been forced as a child to attend a chapel of those most tricksy of apostates, the SSPX (who LOOK Truly Traditional on the outside but inside are full of sticky Modernist goo) and so he had a command of the True Language, Latin.

Big John has chosen the religious name of Brother Torquemada of the Pissed Off Truly True Church.

He will begin martial training next Monday,
and Ale Brewing 101 on Tuesday.

As part of the disposition of his temporal assets, Brother has deeded his semi-truck over to the Order. The HKTTC is now mobile! 

Please help support our growing number of novices by purchasing some of our tasty HKTTC homebrew!

Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney,
Vocations Director


Rob said...

About that ale. I've been drinking it for a few days now and...well...

I've got blood in my urine. What's that all about?

Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC said...


Our ale be strong indeed. That is merely the last vestiges of yer manhood escaping yer body. Welcome to the life of involuntary continence!

(Perhaps we should start putting warning labels on the bottle...)

Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC

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